Noah's Ark and Ugly Beads.

Today, I made a wonderful purchase.

In Michael's, on a quest to find elastic and fake flowers to re-create a headband I had found in Claire's that had probably been intended for a six-year-old because it didn't fit my head... I found THIS:



My mother told me they were "ugly beads" and we proceeded to spend the next fifteen minutes 1. arguing about whether or not the beads were truly "ugly", I preferred to refer to them as "fun", and 2. searching for beads that my mother thought were more acceptable and attractive.

Having decided to defy her after this search churned out expensive beads that were not as "fun", I purchased this container for $5.

Best five dollars I have ever spent.

My family and I have spent the evening making masterpieces. I believe that my mother was converted to the beauty of the beads with the creation of the Noah's Ark Bracelet, which includes a lovely plastic ark bead and various animals. (My dad even joined in the fun, explaining that aquatic animals should not be included on the bracelet, since they live in water and would be able to survive the flood.)

I now look like the six-year-old that should be wearing that headband from Claire's. Mission Accomplished.



-Lauren

I Don't Know Why I'm Laughing.

Today, I am a pretty, pretty princess.

Let me tell you why:

1. My lovely parents plan for me to have my wisdom teeth removed over Christmas break.

2. I go to the Maxillofacial & Oral Surgery place at 8:45 in the morning with my mother.

3. We sit in a waiting room and watch the TV, which is playing a fun little documentary about how they create fake teeth.

4. My name is called and I follow a nurse into a room. My mother isn't allowed to come with me.

5. This nurse asks me extraneous small-talk questions before three other doctors come in and make me feel as though I suddenly got transported onto the set of ER. I attempt to ask the nurse if I am going to be feeling any shots or anything, or if I get to be knocked out for the entire thing. I find that I need an IV, so yes, I get to feel that. Fantastic. She then asks me if I have my ears pierced, as if to tell me it will just feel like that. I tell her yes, I do have my ears pierced, and it hurt like crazy. She tells me it won't be as bad as that. Suuure.

6. The doctor starts messing with my arm, trying to find a vein that he can stab a needle into. He doesn't really seem to care about my personal problems regarding needles and pain.

7. In the meantime, they have put a mask over my nose, which is blowing oxygen and laughing gas, which I point out smells like watermelon.

8. I then become extremely concerned, because I am starting to feel tingly. I ask of this is normal, and while they do not share my concern, they inform me that this is okay.

9. I then get lightheaded, which I inform them about...and also ask if this is something that is supposed to be happening.

10. This helps me decide to tell them that I don't think I want this mask on me anymore. A man goes to take it off, but I change my mind-- if I am going to have to get these teeth out, I'm at least going to have the fun of the laughing gas. So I tell him that he doesn't have to take it off and that I'm fine.

11. Then it hits me. I start to crack up about absolutely nothing. As is the norm for me at this point, I become concerned and ask if this is what is supposed to be happening. The nurse answers me with "That's why they call it laughing gas".

12. At this point, life is reeeally amusing. I'm laughing to the point where I am crying, and am an extremely hyper version of myself. I apologize for being so weird, and inform them that I can't understand what is so funny and that this gas must really be working. I then let the doctor know that I am not actually crying, it's just that my eyes water when I laugh. I continue to make it known that I am aware that I am acting really strangely.

13. I then mention that I am feeling tired, and point out that I know that they are trying to knock me out right now.

14. I wake up hours later without feeling in 50% of my face.

15. I go home and swim in gauze for hours while watching "Tabitha Takes Over" on Bravo.

16. It is now almost 8 pm, and I have walked up the stair steps one time, and I have walked from the couch to the table, the table to the oven, the oven to the table... and then back to the couch. I have been extremely active today. :)


So...this has been the big event of the week!!

Because My Sense of Style is Like That of a Seven-Year-Old.

Sometimes, I like to fake-online-shop.

I'll put things in baskets, and I usually do not purchase them.

Tonight, here are two of the items that are in a potentially-fake-online-shopping-basket:





Is it weird that I like these?

Cop Cars and DUIs.

So... I got pulled over by the police just now.

Awesome.

I saw a sign that said "Be Prepared to Stop".

I thought to myself "oh, this must be an accident."

I pulled up to where all the cop cars were and saw a table with a cooler on it off to the side... so I decided they were probably slacking off or something, it was 2 am, after all.

I also saw an ambulance, which kind of confused me, because if someone was dying, I wouldn't be drinking lemonade on the side of the road.

I pull up to where there are a bunch of officers standing in a line.

They start waving their flashlights at me, which honestly looked like they were doing that whole universal "I'm a traffic conductor" sign of "go ahead and drive, just go slowly."

So I did.

Three seconds later, there is a cop car in front of me, blocking me in.

They make me pull over onto the other side of the road, and the guy comes over and starts, basically, asking me if I'm really stupid and blind (in not so many words).

I have no idea what is going on at this point, so I start apologizing profusely, while trying to figure out why I am magically in trouble for driving after they made the freaking universal "I'm a traffic conductor, so drive your car" sign.

Turns out, this was a DUI checkpoint.

Excellent.

They ask me where I was, I say I was at the theatre.

They ask me if I was working or seeing a show. (because this is relevant.) I tell them I was seeing a show.

They ask if I was with anybody. (I was. THANK GOD he had just passed by a few seconds before me, so I didn't look like some kind of mass murderer or something making up some story.)

Then some retard came up on the other side of my car and started searching it with a flashlight.

I hadn't had time to unpack from school, so my car looked disastrous. (With lots of trash bags in the back. Full of people I have killed, obviously.)

Then, the dumb guy who was questioning me goes "what's wrong with your car?" and I was like "...what do you mean?" and he goes "There's mud on it." Wonderful observation. Also, what does this have to do with anything? I tell him it was because when I park at school, stuff falls on my car. I'm glad we got to the point where we could share about our personal lives.

Okay, so could I look any sketchier right now?! I've already bypassed this magic checkpoint I didn't know about, have random junk and trash bags spread out all over my car (which looks like it's covered with mud)....fantastic.

He asks me if I ate in my car because I had a McDonald's bag in the passenger's seat. (Also such a relevant and useful question.)

and THEN he sees this red spot on my seat.

He asks me if this spot is blood.

Duh. Because I kill people and hide them in the trash bags in the back.

Nooooo, it's not blood! It's freaking ketchup from my McDonald's bag. Which, as he can clearly see, is sitting right next to me.

Haha, why would he even ask that?! Do I look like the kind of person who:
1. would kill/injure somebody
2. would be able to do it so well that I only get a spot of blood on the driver's seat? I don't really think so.

Anyways, he told me to go on home, and didn't give me a ticket or anything... but... now I know that when cops look like they're waving you through with their flashlights, it really means "stop your freaking car before we all flip out at you".

The end.

Finals Week 2010.

I want to take a running jump out of a window right now.

Just a warning... if I am randomly acting like I hate you, I don't. I'm just running on one and a half hours of sleep. Which makes me feel like I want to slaughter anything that breathes, moves, or makes noise.

:)

In real life, and with rest, I really do love you. <3

-Lauren

Regards, Lauren.

Okay, so, there's this boy.

We met on Friday.

He has my number.

He was cool in person.

Over text message, he is absurd.

Upon giving my friend Cameron a play-by-play of this evening's texts, he composed a wonderful letter from me to him in the style of David Thorne.

Who is David Thorne?
Search no further, my uninformed friend: http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jar,

As much as I admire the valiant effort of a big, strong man to obtain a woman, I must admit that your recent methods of attempting to assert yourself into my pants have been more of a turn-off than your hidden sexual insecurities, which you attempt to cover by using foolish sexual come-ons. However, I do commend you on the brilliant use of the phrase “I’m a physical guy”. Normally, this phrase would only be used by bros with an aversion for stupid biddies, but you have clearly broken down many social norms in the search for love, which I naturally have to respect.

Once when I was very young, my parents (who also happened to be my teachers, due to my dedicated homeschooling) became aware of a boy next door who was flirting with me by tripping me, pulling my hair, and calling me names. When I came home crying after he called me a “snotty poopface”, my mother told me he probably just liked me. This belief was solidified when this boy came to my front door and proposed to me, using a “diamond ring” he had made out of the stem of a dandelion and a piece of rotten cheese. After I accepted his proposal, we “dated” for about fourteen minutes, before my parents told me it was time to come inside and finish doing calculus problems. When I started to walk away, the young boy stopped me and gave me a kiss on my hand. When I became happy with this, he said that he was “a pleaser of sorts”. I immediately broke up with him, because I thought this was a stupid thing to say. The seven-year-old self inside of me still believes that to be a childish phrase to this day.

I find myself wondering one thing. How could I have ever doubted that you were being true and not trying anything, especially with such choice phrases as “the only gal” and “a physical guy”? When you said that I was the only gal you were interested in, I was immediately reminded of a 1950s diner with root beer floats and men wearing Buddy Holly glasses. While you might think this repulsed me, in reality, I became very aroused, so perhaps you were right in saying it. I would like to meet up sometime to exchange saliva with you. I will not charge you a fee, though this is my usual practice, and I may even let you pick which marker I use to draw anarchist symbols on your chest and face. Please let me know when you would like to have this meeting.

Regards, Lauren.

Disney Channel Stars.

Okay, so...

I just watched Selena Gomez & The Scene's music video for her song Round and Round... and I have a couple of things I would like to address.

1. This music video is ridiculous.
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfcvO2t8Ntg

2. Selena Gomez & The Scene??? Is she just arbitrarily making that "& The Scene" part up, or is she tag-teaming with some other band?

3. First ten seconds of the video:
-Selena walks up to a random wall.
-Selena puts on sunglasses and poses for no apparent reason.
-Selena walks away.

4. She then lights a match. To do what? To smoke? You're like sixteen.

5. Selena spends the majority of this video running away from creepy old men in fedoras. What will happen if they catch her? No one knows, because this video doesn't make any sense.

6. A sneak peek at the lyrics:
"You see me standing there and act like you don't know me. But last night you were calling me saying you want me."
Once again... you are like sixteen.

7. She then dances in the corner of a room between two light fixtures.

8. After this and some other random things, we watch her almost get hit by a speeding train. It turns out she's fine though, because we next catch up with Selena while she's creeping on someone through a telescope.

9. 1:45- Selena jogs by in her stilettos, while Man in Fedora #1 sprints after her like a crazy person. Good thing she finds a random wall to stand next to so he doesn't see her.

10. Some of my favorite lyrics:
"Love me or love me not,
I'm staring at the clock.
I pick them flower petals off,
and then I watch them drop."

First of all: "them" flower petals??? Enough said.
Second of all: What does this have to do with the music video?

11. 2:17- Selena is BFFs with the waiter at this restaurant, who leaves her a cryptic message in her mug saying "The Coffee is Dirty". She then gives the guy across the table from her a ridiculous amount of sass & walks away.

12. More dancing in the corner between the light fixtures.

13. 3:10- Man in Fedora is hanging from the railing of a staircase a la Mufasa in The Lion King. How did he get there? Nobody knows. We then watch him fall and die and the music video ends with Selena blowing out the match she lit in the beginning.

All of this to say:
Selena Gomez & The Scene know what's up.


-Lauren

Hidden Poetry.

I found this today in the piles of books and music on our piano.
I bet I would find lots of other surprises if I took a good look through my room.

Apparently, I wrote this on July 29th of 2009.

Violet whispers carry my thoughts away.
Catch them in your net that you save for butterflies.
Open up your hands and hold the tattered pages.
I will watch and pray that you won't skip even a word.

Please let this be worth it.
Mistakes- I have plenty.
Please let this be something you want to hold inside and call your own.
Please tell me my secrets mean something in this world.
And please don't tell a soul what I told.
Will you love me when I'm old?

Deep auburn shadows peel away the years of innocence and make-believe.
But hold fast to the fears.
Life is leaving memories wrapped in ribbons on our doorstep.
Take them carefully inside,
And open them like Christmastime.


Angst to the max. Yay!!!
-Lauren

For the Love of Theatre.

I enjoy theatre as much as anybody.
I enjoy it so much that I'm majoring in it.

However, I will not enjoy driving to a different state to see a play to write a paper on if my teacher decides that I cannot write one on a musical. As far as I can see, there are no theatres in my state that are putting on plays right now. And my paper is due Monday.

I don't really see the difference... plays and musicals are the same thing, for the purpose of my paper, anyway.

So, he just emailed me asking what theatre I would be planning to see White Christmas in (legitimately, EVERYONE is either doing White Christmas or A Christmas Carol and this is like the only one that starts before December (aka before the paper is due).

This theatre is within biking distance from my front door.
If he would let me see that, I could save a pointless trip to another state and avoid seeing a show called "Table Manners", which, while sounding totally thrilling, is not the top activity on my agenda for the day.




However, my agenda for the day DOES happen to include sitting here, going "please, please, please, please, pleeeease..." like a four-year-old until he emails me back. :)

Fashionnn.

I would love to be on a panel that puts clothes together for models to wear in magazines.
I feel like it would be fun...you just close your eyes and grab about 7 random articles of clothing and have them all be worn at the exact same time.

For example:


1. Random hat that looks like it came straight off of "Lizzie McGuire" or a Disney Channel Original Movie.

2. Necklace that looks weird with that top.

3. Shirt that depicts the rock layers of our planet.

4. .....Pleather shorts.

5. Really tall socks. I love tall socks, so that's fine, but then we pair them with:

6. Polka dot high heels. All of these things match so well.

7. Random ring and bracelet, just for fun.

This girl is apparently considered fashionable, and if I saw someone walking around wearing that, I'd think to myself:

1. That hat is stupid.
2. Even though I have spent the majority of this blog making fun of each of the items of clothing here, I like that this girl is just wearing what she wants. Which makes her cool.

So... maybe I'll spend more mornings with my eyes closed, randomly selecting items from my drawers?? :)

Harry Potter and Way Too Many Snakes.

I'm HOME!


Yessss.

So far, I have seen the new Harry Potter movie, relaxed, slept in way too late, gone to the mall, and watched lots of thrilling TV shows like "Pawn Stars" and "Swamp People".

1. Harry Potter
I just have a little question about this: WHY DID DOBBY DIE!? Okay, so...these people are witches and wizards. Therefore, they should be able to fix stuff like that, right?! And what happened to that bottle of magic healing stuff Hermione had in her huge purse? Did she use it all up on Ron or something? That might have been a little bit useful as Dobby was bleeding to death...

2. Swamp People
One of the weirdest shows I have seen lately. If you have a thing for hunting alligators in dirty swamp areas and seeing raw chicken dangling off of trees as bait, then you should totally check this out.

3. The mall
I purchased pink earmuffs at Forever21 yesterday. I wish there was a store closer than 78.1 miles from school.

One, Two, Three, Four, Tell Me That You Love Me More....

Thanksgiving Break is four days away, and it cannot get here soon enough.

I am beyond excited to settle into the couch, watch a ridiculous amount What Not to Wear, trade in my backpack in for a blanket... and sleep.

Sleep...in my own bed.
Where it's supposed to be on the wall.
Facing the direction it's supposed to in relation to everything else in my room.
With the window right next to it that doesn't require a contortionist to pry it open.


I. Can't. Wait.

"I'm Sick of Brown, and it Looks Like Fun..."

"i'm gonna do what i want to, and i'm gonna dye my hair blue."

i've gone blue, and i'm PSYCHED.

......just a streak of blue.
on the bottom section.
no worries.
and it's semi-permanent.

not like that other girl on campus whose hair is a crazy combo of blue, green, pink, etc, etc, etc. with a spot in the back that looks like she intentionally took her flat iron and tried to melt her hair to her scalp. It's really nice.

As attractive as her hair is, I thought I would let her be "that girl".

and I'll just be "that other girl who dyes her hair way too often".

Half an Hour = Game Over.

Last night, I pulled an all-nighter.

I think I got about half an hour of sleep in all. It was awful. Thank you, Dr. Beck.

Anyways...

My Really Freaking Long Day [also Entitled "The Really Obnoxious Person I am When I am Tired"] -By Lauren

1. I stayed awake last night by drinking coffee (which I swore off last semester). The coffee was good. Staying up all night=not so good.
2. This morning, I was a jerk. I wanted to kill everyone and everything was awful and terrible. I called my parents and got annoyed with them for things that were my fault, and I went to my first class wanting to punch people in the face. I attempted to throw myself mini pity parties when I saw people I knew, and I sank so low as to play the "How Late Did You Stay Up Last Night?" Game. [I either won the game or tied.]
3. I turned in the project I'd stayed up all night doing, worried about it for like ten minutes, and decided I didn't really care anymore, which led me to my giddy phase.
4. This phase involved me writing notes to the girl next to me in class, being really talkative and thinking lots of things were funny.
5. After that wore off, I felt exhausted and spent the rest of my day collecting pet peeves. I found a wide variety of reasons to be annoyed with people. I also attempted to fall asleep everywhere.
6. During one of these attempts, I actually drooled on the floor of the green room. Awesome. I tried to pretend like it didn't happen when I woke up, but it definitely did.

Faces I Should Not Have Made:

A montage of the bad decisions I have made in when a camera is in front of my face.



I'm so happy...because I'm at summer camp and I don't know you at all... so I am going to make this uncomfortable face and put a thumbs up in there just for fun.



This might be one of the all-time worst photos of me. Ever.




This picture could also be titled "Hair Colors I Never Should Have Had".



The confused, weird girl sits alone in the corner...



This one screams "I'm a really huge creeper."

A Couple of Things I Would Like to Say to a Couple of Lovely People...

To avoid lashing out in person and potentially killing someone, I would like to take this opportunity to express my feelings towards some certain individuals in a safe manner. Here goes.

Dear __________,
I hate your class so so much, I hate the subject that you teach, and if I have to take another semester that you teach, I might jump out a building. You are the most confusing woman I have ever met. Thanks for the work you are doing in destroying my GPA.

Dear __________,
First of all, I would like to mention that some of us are taking classes other than yours. While I do enjoy your class, you give a heck of a lot of homework. Also, I wish you would stop being such a guy about everything. When I ask you a question, I mean it in the way that the question makes sense due to the context of our conversation...not in the most literal translation that you can come up with. This would save a lot of time that I spend re-explaining myself and trying to make you understand that what I am asking is really not that difficult.

Dear __________,
You drive me insane. Not only do you get like freaking 90's on all of our quizzes, which makes me angry because no one should be doing well in this class, you mumble like I have never heard and you ask questions that make absolutely no sense. You are obviously talented in this subject area... but it would save like 8 years of our lives if you would stop asking these nonsensical questions in your annoying "I'm a frat guy and i don't care" voice. Thanks.



Oh So Much Love...
Lauren

Why Facebook Promotes Learning:

Every college kid knows that Facebook is an integral part of the learning process.

Not only can we stalk our friends/people we have never seen before in our lives, but posting the perfect Facebook status helps today's youth learn to create concise and witty one-liners every single day.

(or, depending upon mood, perhaps a deep and emotional sentiment, all kept within the constraints of that little box above your wall.)

We have learned to be cryptic, putting the undefined "you" in particular statuses that deal with emotional releases of some sort (even though everyone knows who you are referring to... including that person, let's be honest here.)

But, okay, the real reason why Facebook is a great learning tool?

Just within the past two days, it has led me on intense Google searches to find the correct way to spell the plural form of "ellipsis", and taught me that "eggnog" is in fact one word, not two.

Point made.

Somebody Kill Me Please.

My Past Two Facebook Statuses Define My Day:


Status Number One:

Reasons Why Today is the Best Day Ever:
1. the antics of last night already made today good.
2. my first class got cancelled.
3. i got an override into a class i really wanted.
4. Mrs. Greens: Breakfast for Lunch.
5. Dessert: CANDY CORN.

Status Number Two:

Reasons Why Today Stopped Being the Best Day Ever:
1. I realized I missed an appointment this morning.
2. My Spanish teacher decided to tell us TODAY that we have a test on Wednesday...on material she taught us this afternoon in class.
3. Tech Week.
4. My Spanish presentation is due the day before opening night.
5. So.Much.Homework.

-Lauren

Things I Did This Evening:

1. Went to Sala cast bonding and experienced a freaking amazing buffet. We were all sssso excited...

2. Saw True West!!

3. Got yelled at for laughing at some stupid guy on the sidewalk.

4. Passed a crying girl dressed as a cheerleader. (Or a football player, I'm not really sure, she had those black stripes on her cheeks. Either way it was funny.)

5. Got my car pounded on because I almost hit some kids in the crosswalk. Whoops.

6. Went to Wal-Mart and purchased, among other things, three packages of juice boxes.

-Lauren

Emotional Journeys.

Tomorrow in class:

Sing a song (a cappella. awesome.) to a partner (who doesn't know they're your partner until it's your turn to sing.) where you must take them on an "emotional journey".

Of course, some of the kids in my class and I have been discussing tomorrow's activities and have been coming up with song choices to sing with particularly strong emotional journeys.

Some options include:
- Row, Row, Row Your Boat (a figurative AND literal journey. Thank you, Cameron.)
- Happy Birthday (a previous audition song of mine... which is a story for another day.)
- The National Anthem (it's already a cappella. excellent.)
- Smelly Cat (From Friends. Thank you, Rebecca.)
- We Three Kings (a little holiday joy...as well as another song with a literal and figurative journey.)

I would also like to add "Puff the Magic Dragon" to this list, just for kicks.

-Lauren

I've Missed You.

Hair dye, welcome back to my life.

At the end of the summer, I almost made a deal with my mother that I wouldn't dye my hair for a year if I could get my last disaster fixed by someone who actually knew what they were doing. In the end, my insanity won out and I decided that one year was way too long to go without destroying my hair at least once.

So now, I'm back in the game.

In honor of the first hair dye of the school year, here's a short montage of the ridiculous decisions I have made in the past:


The summer before college. Too lightttt.


Welcome to school. Dye your hair blue.


Bored with blonde... let's go brunette!


The brown is fading? No big deal. Use a permanent reddish-brown!


Moment of weakness: Back to the hair salon. Starting the journey back to blonde.



Multiple trips to the hair salon later: Back to Blonde.


Starting off the summer: a few purple-y streaks... basically blonde.


Early June: Black streaks. (Read: BAD IDEA) Within 48 Hours: a dose of Color Oops, leaving me with brown streaks. :)



California: AWFUL IDEA.


The first attempt at fixing the ridiculousness that is the previous picture. My face= my feelings about this color.


A really light color does it, and, once again, we're back to blonde. (slightly too-light blonde, but blonde.)

Which is about where we are right now, except for when my mom tried to put low-lights in my hair and they didn't really show up.

Tonight, the saga continues...

Friday Insanity.

I have been a walking talking mess today.

It is 12:29.

So far, I have been running around all day in my tie-dye "clown pants" (Thank you, Emily), mentally screwing up my class schedule (I'm not completely idiotic, our teacher keeps changing what day our class is), which means that I have not yet even brushed my teeth/gotten ready to live my life, and I have trekked across our ridiculously large campus for no good reason only to end up here, in the music library, updating my blog because I don't actually have class. (Which is actually kind of nice.)

I don't know where my brain has been for the past month, but I'd like to stop by and pick it up from wherever I left it.

Weekend Cramming.

The name of the game is Let's Cram Eight Chapters of Geology Into My Head in the Span of Four Days.

Ready, go.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, it is so unrelated to anything I would ever ever decide to do with my life...I could have zillions of careers after I graduate and I guarantee that none of them will involve looking at rocks.

Did you know that "lomatiite" is ultramafic lava?
Neither did I.

Do you know what "ultramafic lava" is?
...Neither do I.

I sure wish I did!

And I hope I will before 9:05 on Wednesday morning...

Hello, Me.

So, I've been doing a little bit of thinking.

There parts of me that I want to let show and there are pieces of me that I want to grow past and leave behind... or at least put in my pocket for awhile.

Why don't I?

I'm scared. I have this certain image. I know how people perceive me. I know "who I am".

I know the parts of me that I let shine through the most, and the parts of me that I hide because I don't want people to think I'm crazy.

But the people I admire the most are the ones who are every bit of themselves... the crazy, the sentimental, the funny, the indifferent...

Something to think about.

-Lauren

Random Musings.

1. If you have heard about my one-eyed fish, he's still kickin'. Of course he is. This will be the one that will live forever. I am going to have this massive, creepy, one-eyed fish for the rest of my life.

2. I am going home this weekend= very excited. For some weird reason it's been feeling like I'm getting ready to go home for the summer... which is so untrue. Sad day.

3. I need to stop buying unnecessary things at Walmart.

4. However, I am doing a better job at not wasting all of my money on Starbucks/vending machines.

5. I already have so many great quotes from my classes...i'll have to dedicate an entire post to them alone.

6. There are so many teachers that I would love to just be able to sit and watch outside of class. Is that creepy? I feel like some of them would just be really interesting! I want to see what their husbands/wives/boy/girlfriends/etc look like... I want to see how they act around their families and how it's different from how they act around us. Some of my professors this semester are just really intriguing!

That's all for now...
-Lauren

Insanity.

Okay...

So, yesterday, we beat our rival school. It was intense.
Everywhere you went, someone screamed "YEAH! JMU!" in your face, and I felt like if I ran up and hugged anyone, we would be instant best friends and it wouldn't be awkward at all.

To better explain the joy:


I know two people in this picture. The other four? No idea. But we walked down the sidewalk together screaming We Are the Champions and I watched two of them run through sprinklers in a fit of euphoria. :)

-Lauren

Question of the Year.

So... now I am nineteen, and things are changing.

Things have always been changing, of course... but nineteen is the age of the ever-present "question" more than maybe any other.

What is this "question", you ask?
Just what you think it is. :)

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Okay... let me just talk about this for a second...

This question always comes from the same person-- that older woman you just met seven seconds ago.

You don't know her at all, and she is some friend of a friend of your mother... and you end up meeting her awkwardly somewhere and the conversation goes a little something like this:
"Hi, what's your name, do you have a boyfriend?"

For the teenager in question, the internal monologue goes a little more like THIS:
"Hi, Lauren, and I didn't hate my life until you asked me that, but now I really hate it and I hate you, too."

"The Question" is just asking for an awkward moment. People should probably just stop asking it to save themselves from being hated by the single teenage population.

While life is clearly not all about being wrapped in some sports team sweatshirt that smells like abercrombie cologne, these women make it seem like this is something one should be experiencing at all times in order to truly live. Which is a little bit ridiculous. Regardless, it is probably the question I dread most at family functions, places you go with your mother, and any extraneous event where you may possibly be introduced to a woman in this age demographic.

When I'm sitting on my bed downing cartons of Ben & Jerry's, having just broken up with someone and hating the world... by all means, ask me The Question. Then, I will love to talk about it and I will maybe even share some ice cream with you.

In the meanwhile, it's the most awkward ice breaker you can come up with.

<3 Lauren

Hipster.

So... I got a fish! Originally, I went to help my friend go buy HER fish... and then I came home with one, too. He was just so cute and pretty and I like him a lottt. His name is Hipster. :)

So... this is officially my first pet! Well, my hamster, Mellon, was technically my first pet, but I was like eight and never really took care of him myself, and he used to shimmy up the water bottle, break out of his cage, and go hide under the sofa...it was a good time trying to find him and not smash him in the process...
Oh, and then I remember practically watching him die, which was lots of fun too...

But anyways... I have purchased a living creature and now I have to take care of it. Wish me luck. :)

-Lauren

Good Morning.

This week, I have been ridiculously emotional.
Like... I'm an emotional person, but this has been totally over the top for me.
I need to go drink some tea and .b.r.e.a.t.h.e.

In other news, my hair is back to basically my natural color and not as blonde as it was when I bleached it to try to fix all the awful colors I dyed my hair this summer. So maybe I can let it grow in like a normal person this time. My natural color is actually like a light brown... I might even like it better than the blonde I've had forever.

-Lauren

Because I Feel Like I Should Write Something...

i feel like i should update this because i haven't in a few days, so here is a list of some of the things going on in my head right now:


1. summer is ending. what the heck. please slow down.
2. i am bringing like 2 outfits to school this year. when they both end up in a pile on my floor, my room will still look decently neat, which is what i'm striving for.
3. i am also going to be absurdly organized this year. i've decided. let's do this. i need to go buy a planner.
4. i have my car. i am going exploring at school.
5. my sister came over to visit tonight and i love her a lot. she is really just so cool and i love when i get to tell people we're related. :)
6. i ate dinner at like 10:30 tonight.
7. i'm in one of those moods where i listen to the same song over and over again.
8. i'm also really tired.
9. i've been thinking too much lately, but the stuff that's ending up in this list is mundane compared to all the ridiculousness swirling around in my mind.
10. i should probably go to bed.

-Lauren

Dear YOU...

You= whoever is reading this.

If you go to my school, we should both introduce each other to all of our friends so we can both have lots of new friends and go on adventures.

If you, or any of your friends, have any ideas for places to go for adventures, let me know.

In other news, if you see me on campus attempting to buy a Starbucks, tackle me. I will not be going through the money on my JAC card like I did last year......which means less Starbucks and fewer trips to the vending machine.

Thanks.

Love,
Me

Some Reasons I'm Glad I Will Never Be a Freshman Again:

I was trying to get rid of some pictures and came across ones from the beginning of freshman year...

Reason Number One: I never have to sit through orientation.
One of the events we had to go to was so boring that I took a picture of my leg.



Reason Number Two: I now know that I do not have to take a picture of or with every item of school paraphernalia.



Reason Number Three: I will not ride this ridiculous bus unless I have to. I will drive my car because I am a freaking sophomore and I can.



Reason Number Four: I have learned the art of dying your hair unnatural colors. If you choose to turn your hair blue, do not dye the piece of hair that I did in that picture.



Reason Number Five: I WILL NEVER HAVE TO TAKE THIS CLASS AGAIN. "Reasons I'm Glad to Be Out of Critical Thinking" could be a list in itself...




-Lauren

Folk Dancing with the Children

Today= the half-day of dance camp where I take a ballet class and have some lady move my arms in all sorts of uncomfortable positions that look better than whatever I'd been running around with before, and then take the class of death.

FOLK DANCING.

Yes, I am being over-dramatic, and it's actually hysterical, because this class is so absurd that all you can do is laugh.

Today was no exception.

Not only did we learn complicated and confusing line dances that required way more hopping around than necessary...we also had a little surprise today.

We are in the middle of this Israeli line dance, having learned words in Hebrew that I assumed we were supposed to chant while we did this.

The teacher turns on the music, starts leading us in the dance, and then goes "Sing!"

Sing?!
Whaaaaat?
Today, I had my first ever experience with Hebrew karaoke.
It was a good time.

-Lauren

Pros and Cons.

The Pros and Cons to being in dance classes with a bunch of small children:

Pro: They like you because you're older.

Con: They shout "SHE'S NINETEEN!" to inform the teacher, as if it is not blatantly obvious that I am a little bit past eleven.

Pro: You're automatically pretty "cool".

Con: ...which makes them want to see your phone, your ipod, etc.

Pro: They ask you lots of questions.

Con: ...they ask you lots of questions. (So you live in Pennsylvania? Do you like it there? Who's that girl with you on the background of your phone? What's her name? Do you live at home? Do you have any brothers or sisters? How old are they? What are their names? Do you want to leave California? Do you like college? How do you color your hair by yourself? What kind of conditioner do you use?)

Pro: You get to do their hair and get cute excuses like "When I put it up, it always falls out" and "If the teacher asks me to put my hair in a ponytail, will you do it for me?"

Con: They talk to you incessantly and want to tell you every monotonous detail of their lives.

Pro: They share food with you at lunchtime.

Con: Apparently, sharing food is a form of bonding, and then it becomes okay for them to attach themselves to you for the rest of the day.

Pro: You can goof off and be a kid!

Con: They're ridiculously blunt. ("You look REALLY tired." "When you tell people you age, you should tell them you're fifteen.")

Pro: They're cute :)

One Day When I'm Older...

One day when I'm older...

1. My hair will be curly. It doesn't even matter that my hair is not naturally curly and that instead it is naturally ridiculous... one day when i'm older it will look like this:



2. I will not destroy myself with self-tanning lotion like I like to do sometimes. I will not look like this:



3. I will not ruin my hair with awful unattractive colors. I will not feel like this after I have finished dying my hair:



-Lauren

Oh Hey There, August.

Time flies, doesn't it?

There are so many things I want to do, so many experiences I want to have...

And time waits for no one... so I might as well get going.

Some of the first orders of business for when I get back to school:

Have as many random adventures as possible.
Make as many new friends as possible.
Explore downtown.
And beyond downtown.
Become a planner: set up get-togethers!
Enjoy the area I'm in...see everything there is to see and do everything there is to do.
Live in the present & make the most of it.

-Lauren

"I am Queen of the Swans."

Today= Dance Camp.

Mime class.
Telling the story of Swan Lake with movement.

Swan Lake= "The Swan Princess" in my book, so already I knew this was gonna be good. :)

I'm taking class with this lady who is dead serious about what she's doing, which made it even harder to keep a straight face while I ran around like a bird, hid from the prince who had a crossbow, and explained to him that "I am Queen of the Swans", while our teacher coached us through the motions by adding her own special dialogue: "THERE. THAT LAKE. That is the lake of my mothers' tears." Dead serious.

Haha. Life is good. :)

Go follow my friend Sarah's awesome blog!! she's super fierce. <3
http://ohmanthisstarsarah.blogspot.com/

-Lauren

End of the Hair Saga and Some Angst for the Week.

The hair is back to blonde, (ish. enough for me.) so we're back in business.

I know for sure there won't be any more dramatic posts about my hair, because it's staying this color unless I want it falling out in hunks onto the floor...which i don't, really.

On another unrelated/teenage angst-ish note... why does life have to be so complicated all the time?

If anyone has the answer to this one, feel free to fill me in, because I'd sure like to know.

-Lauren

Ga Ga Ooh La La?

I cannot handle this red hair... this mass of ridiculousness on my head is bad decision 2010 (like actually).

I had a little girl tell me today that "my hair is very colorful".
What is it with children being ridiculously blunt lately? :)

Well thanks, kid... I have now purchased a box of "extra light ash blonde" dye, and I don't even care if my hair falls out in the process... :)

I have a feeling I'm going to end up looking a little something like Lady Gaga... the girl on the front of the box has really light hair... but at least it won't be red??

So, that's the plan for tonight.

Third time's the charm, right??

-Lauren

That Other Time at Dance Camp.

Today, somewhere between line dancing with the nine-year-olds in my class to "Turkey in the Straw" and learning the hula, a part of me died.

I suppose I'll have a few good stories to tell my grandchildren later on in life, and I guess that the "Lauren Takes a Children's Dance Class and Flails Around to Hawaiian Music" story will be one of them.

At least my life is interesting?? :)

-Lauren

Bad Decisions and How Not to Make Them.

If you ever wake up one morning thinking "My hair looks so boring. I think I'll dye it with streaks of some color resembling an orange highlighter..." please don't.

You will spend the next 12 hours trying to devise a scheme to "fix" it, which will involve a polling of your family members in an attempt to determine the proper color to re-dye your hair, a trip to Rite-Aid, and finally an intense hair dying session where you try to blend together all of the assorted colors that are currently in your hair [the results of previous bad ideas] by putting "light reddish blonde" over the whole thing.

In the end, my hair doesn't look too crazy, but it was certainly a process to get it here :)



This is not to say that I won't get bored with my hair again and dye it some other insane color in a few months because I'm sure I will, BUT... if you're going for orange, stay away from the highlighter shade. :)

-Lauren

The Wedding Singer.

My life is like a movie.

You know that one part of basically every romantic drama where the guy and girl break up, but then everywhere they go, they continually find random things that remind them of the other person, until they decide that they have to turn around from wherever they were going and dramatically sprint back into each others' arms?

That's what's happening to me with The Wedding Singer.

One of my teachers in class today said "tricky situation". Who even says that anyway? Of course, it's Kelsey's line from the show, which had me standing there [in ballet class with a bunch of small children--read post below] thinking "it's a tricky situation, first fight, i've seen couples face disaster..." wishing I was wearing my blonde curly hair and running through the mall scene in my dental hygienist outfit.

In stage makeup class, the lady who taught it [who looked like a freaking clown, by the way... i think that's how she actually does her makeup, too, which is insane...] happened to have Heather's eye shadow. What are the odds that this random old woman who lives in California and looks like she put every product on her face in ridiculously massive quantities would have Heather's exact same eye shadow palette? *sigh* I really liked that bright 80's blue.

I miss and love you all. <3

<3 lauren

This One Time at Dance Camp.

So...

Here i am in California... and my dad signed me up for this dance camp.

I can't blame all of this on him... he asked me if I wanted to go and I told him to sign me up...

Today was my first day there.

Within the time span of 10-2:30, I experienced:

1. a lot little kids staring at me and whispering things... i am, unfortunately, "that girl who takes class with the little kids".

2. had a girl ask me why I wasn't wearing a green leotard (we're in the "green group"... and therefore we all color-coordinate our clothing? note that everyone else except for the one boy in my group and one other girl had on a green leotard. guess what i'll be wearing tomorrow...)

3. had this same little girl inform me that my ballet shoes were the old kind, ask me how old i was, ask me if i drove, ask me what kind of car i had, ask me if i lived at home, and what my first and second favorite colors were. awesome. (this is when you know your life is pathetic.)

This is technically day two of this eighteen day camp.

Oh man.

-Lauren

The Beginning.

It's crazy to think that The Wedding Singer is really over.

I've spent about three months with a bunch of really awesome people, and I miss them.

It was a great experience, and we will all always be able to keep that with us.

Thank you guys.

Now I have a month here in California before I go back home, and then about a week before I head off to school again for sophomore year.

Sophomore. What?! This is insane.

Soon, I will be out of school and attempting to figure out my life. Which is crazy to think about. On one hand, there are so many things that I want to do and so many things I want to get involved with, which is really exciting. On the other hand, there are so many times that I feel like I'm about twelve years old... like I'm too young to run full speed ahead into the "real world", but that I'm going to have to anyway.

Ready or not, here I come.

How old does someone have to get before life and new experiences become easy to handle? Does that ever come, or do people who have been around a little bit longer just know how to hide their fear a little bit more?

-Lauren