I Need to Stop Pretending Like Baking is a Good Hobby For Me to Pursue. (Part Nine Million and Four.)

I was inspired by this lovely little video here to create beet cake.

http://vimeo.com/24243147

look how calm everyone is during this process.
listen to the lovely music.
this is a baker's utopia where flour is kept in pretty little drawers and everything is in slow motion.

...I hate my life.

Here was MY beet-cake-baking experience:


I pour myself a wonderful glass of sparking grape juice (the classy i'm-only-twenty version of baking with wine)



I decide to cut the recipe in half after realizing that I do not have enough butter for a whole recipe. I am obviously far too lazy to go to the store to purchase more. This decision, however, leaves me with measurements such as "1.5 eggs" and ".125 tsp salt". My own intelligence astounds me.

I puree some slimy beets, add my 1.5 eggs, sift a whole bunch of random crap together, and do all of the other tasks that look as though they were completed with such ease and peacefulness in the absurd video above. This is what we have going on at this point:



I then go to get the mixer to whip it all together.

Here is what I find in the bowl that belongs to said mixer:



Excellent. A freaking tarantula.

I scrap the mixer idea and stir everything together with a knife. (At this point, why not?)

Right about now, I am wanting to swap my sparkling grape juice with a bit of this:



I then shove the beet concoction in the oven for about five years and wait for the thing to bake.

All I can say is: this had better be the best freaking cake I have ever tasted.