Today, I am a pretty, pretty princess.
Let me tell you why:
1. My lovely parents plan for me to have my wisdom teeth removed over Christmas break.
2. I go to the Maxillofacial & Oral Surgery place at 8:45 in the morning with my mother.
3. We sit in a waiting room and watch the TV, which is playing a fun little documentary about how they create fake teeth.
4. My name is called and I follow a nurse into a room. My mother isn't allowed to come with me.
5. This nurse asks me extraneous small-talk questions before three other doctors come in and make me feel as though I suddenly got transported onto the set of ER. I attempt to ask the nurse if I am going to be feeling any shots or anything, or if I get to be knocked out for the entire thing. I find that I need an IV, so yes, I get to feel that. Fantastic. She then asks me if I have my ears pierced, as if to tell me it will just feel like that. I tell her yes, I do have my ears pierced, and it hurt like crazy. She tells me it won't be as bad as that. Suuure.
6. The doctor starts messing with my arm, trying to find a vein that he can stab a needle into. He doesn't really seem to care about my personal problems regarding needles and pain.
7. In the meantime, they have put a mask over my nose, which is blowing oxygen and laughing gas, which I point out smells like watermelon.
8. I then become extremely concerned, because I am starting to feel tingly. I ask of this is normal, and while they do not share my concern, they inform me that this is okay.
9. I then get lightheaded, which I inform them about...and also ask if this is something that is supposed to be happening.
10. This helps me decide to tell them that I don't think I want this mask on me anymore. A man goes to take it off, but I change my mind-- if I am going to have to get these teeth out, I'm at least going to have the fun of the laughing gas. So I tell him that he doesn't have to take it off and that I'm fine.
11. Then it hits me. I start to crack up about absolutely nothing. As is the norm for me at this point, I become concerned and ask if this is what is supposed to be happening. The nurse answers me with "That's why they call it laughing gas".
12. At this point, life is reeeally amusing. I'm laughing to the point where I am crying, and am an extremely hyper version of myself. I apologize for being so weird, and inform them that I can't understand what is so funny and that this gas must really be working. I then let the doctor know that I am not actually crying, it's just that my eyes water when I laugh. I continue to make it known that I am aware that I am acting really strangely.
13. I then mention that I am feeling tired, and point out that I know that they are trying to knock me out right now.
14. I wake up hours later without feeling in 50% of my face.
15. I go home and swim in gauze for hours while watching "Tabitha Takes Over" on Bravo.
16. It is now almost 8 pm, and I have walked up the stair steps one time, and I have walked from the couch to the table, the table to the oven, the oven to the table... and then back to the couch. I have been extremely active today. :)
So...this has been the big event of the week!!
I notice you left out the part about what an obnoxious brat you were when you woke up. I thought they'd removed your personality along with your teeth. Some day you will be grateful we made you do this. Really. Okay...maybe.
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