It Is Now August, So Here is a List of Some Things That Annoy Me.

1. What temperature is it?!

It is summer. Therefore, you sweat your face off outside and you freeze to death inside. What does one wear in such conditions? I still haven't figured this out. Unfortunately, I feel as though the only solution is to wear summer clothing indoors but to then invest in a lovely snuggie, so you can go about your day as usual, without dying of the cold.


[they look so comfortable and climate-controlled.]

2. People on tumblr who blog about the same topics over and over.

I know, I know, "if you don't like their blogs, unfollow them"... but some of these people are my friends so I feel obligated. So I suppose I will scroll like a mad woman past all of the Harry Potter and Dr. Who postings. I just do not understand why you need to post, like, seven million of the same thing. We are all aware that you enjoy a little wizarding magic Harry Potter-ness, but we do not need captioned pictures of every single character over and over. For instance, I personally enjoy the sport of dance. However, I do not inundate others' blogs with multitudes of pictures of ballerinas because I know that one or two of such pictures gets the point across that I enjoy dancing. Done. Bam. Lauren likes dancing. We don't need this:


[AHH I LOVE DANCE.]

[DANCE IS FREAKING GREAT!!!]

[OMG IT IS MY LIIIIIFE. I AM SO INTENSE.]

[I LIKE DANCE SO MUCH I UPLOADED A PICTURE OF A SNOW GLOBE.]

3. Books on Tape.

Books on tape are impossibly obnoxious. Why can't you just read the stinkin' book?? I'm sure I hate them because, in my house, I do not listen to them, but my mother does so I am constantly hearing some random narrator man screaming from another room: "AND THEN SHE LOOKED HIM IN THE EYES AND ALL OF THE SADNESS OF THE WORLD FELL UPON HER SHOULDERS AND SHE SOBBED 'NO! I CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT YOU!!!'" and blah blah blah...

[Life is so hard...]


Welcome to August.
-Lauren

Having Friends is Hard.

Not that I am complaining, but here is the thing about having some friends...

You go places with them. Which means you spend lots of money buying food, because you go and hang out at restaurants or wherever else is open late into the night.

You come home late and you come home tired, but you MUST post the pictures of you and said friends on your facebook page so you can anxiously await the 20 comments that are bound to appear within the next hour or two, all saying "oh hahaha look at my face."

You come home late and you come home tired and you post you photos on facebook but then you still don't want to go to bed.

So you attempt to amuse yourself by stalking people on facebook and tumblr, listening to music, and finally just feeling the need to blog angsty things because the tiredness is getting the best of you and you break your "I am so intense, I have no emotions" shell thing you've been working with for the past 20 years, and here you are, alone on the sofa at 2:25 in the morning, being your young adult "life is oh so hard" self.

This, my lovely (and plentiful) blog followers, is the plight of having friends.

Or maybe it is simply the plight of being a girl.

Or the plight of being sleep deprived.

I'm not really sure.

-Lauren

3 Reasons it is too Freaking Difficult to be a Girl.

1. Society tell us to be tan.

So... I decide, following the idiot rules of society, to douse myself with this:



Yay. And we all know exactly what this is going to do. Yes, it will make me look alive and not like a freaking walking corpse... but it will also cling to my girl mustache and turn it orange. This is attractive. I could go to a tanning bed or something, but I would like to look like I'm 25 when I'm 50, so no thank you, dangerous light rays. So, here are my options: I either spend my young adult life ghostly white, or walking around like a big orange mistake. Thank you, society.

2. You have to try to match clothing.

This is not one of my special talents. I recently hung out with some friends wearing a purple tank top and navy gym shorts. Before I left the house, my mother asked me if I was going to actually wear that. I informed her that I was, but brought black gym shorts in the car with me in case I felt too mis-matchy. To save time and because I did not feel like changing my clothing in the car at the really tourist-filled parking lot... I kept the navy shorts on. I then proceeded to announce to my friends that I was aware that my clothing did not match...but it did not keep me from feeling like I had done a bad job of being a girl that morning.




(i'm in the back. you can tell because i'm the one in the purple tank top and i also look like i just crawled out of my grave, which is another great way to identify me in pictures.)

3. We are supposed to enjoy shoe shopping.

There are so many commercials with girls, like, rolling around in piles of shoes and throwing confetti and acting like it is something exciting to jam uncomfortable things onto your feet and try to teeter around and live your life.

Shoe shopping is not fun.



This picture is impossibly misleading. You cannot purchase love in the form of velvet pink stilettos.

While wearing the shoes in this picture, I would probably:

1. Complain about every five seconds. This gets old after about the second mention of the excruciating pain and wishes to take off the pink idiot shoes.
2. Take the freaking things off. This totally un-does the point of purchasing the shoes.
3. Whip out flip flops from my purse and wear them instead. Again, this defeats the purpose of shoe shopping and ruins your outfit (see #2 regarding mismatching clothing)

My idea of footwear?

1. None. Be crazy. Go barefoot.
2. Socks.
3. Flip flops.

There you have it... 3 reasons it is just too freaking difficult to be a girl.

-Lauren

Boring Post About My Life

I obviously have not posted in a very long time and, in an attempt to:

1. quell boredom

and

2. post something

I have decided to make this lovely and informative post about my life.

A Few Fun Facts About Right Now:

- I have to be out of the house in eight hours. This is supposed to include sleep. I hate my life.
- At 8 am I will be spending my life with many small children.
- I will then go to rehearsal.
- Sleep, repeat, etc.

I Hate Everything.

...especially my internet cord.

I wrote this whole thing... and the cord had come out of my computer (as per usual) before I pressed the "publish" button... so here I am, posting instead about how I hate the world and everything in it. :)

Things I Don't Have That I Used To:

1. a working light in the ceiling in my room.

2. a moment of quiet while in my room. Thank you, karaoke superstars next door.

3. my one toenail. yay. pretty pretty princess!

4. boring nails. they are now green, orange and yellow. yesss.

Someone Please Remind Me Never To...

1. Accept vodka from this creeper in the graveyard.


2. Dye a streak of idiot color in my hair ever again.


3. Kill any more of my pets.


4. Let your mom upload her pictures from her trip to NYC with her friends onto your iphoto. You never know what you will find.





That's all for now from going through my photos. :)